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Someone just forwarded a thing to me called "How to be a Good Democrat," so I wrote up a (just as hyperbolic and biased) response called "How to be a Good Republican." Feel free to forward it to everybody in your address book.
Update: Reader Dave H. sent me a slightly revised and expanded version with the two camps side-by-side, so I prettied it up in a table, and here she is. Thanks, Dave.
Update 2/5/04: This Metafilter thread linked to an even better version of the Republican list that someone else wrote. Enjoy.