The Official Seal Generator and the Badge Generator just got some sprucing up - new code, new fonts, new templates, and new features make it more configurable and snazzier-looking than ever.

This would be funnier if they weren't serious. If literacy were a requirement for citizenship, these bozos would all be deported. Sheesh.

Now, read the following carefully. This is the same story reported by three papers:

Kingston Daily Freeman

05/02/2008- Five men charged in assault on mentally handicapped teen

LIVINGSTON - Three Dutchess County men and two from Columbia County have been charged in connection with an incident in which a mentally handicapped teenage girl was attacked with a stun gun and sexually abused, state police said on Friday.

Arrested in the case were Ben G. Ezzell, 22, Eric S. Coons, 21, and Gerald J. Moore, 21, all of Red Hook; and Joseph Wenk, 28, and David J. Bocchino, 23, both of Livingston, police said.

Troopers at the Livingston barracks said the five men were arrested on Thursday after a monthlong investigation that stemmed from a March 14 incident.

At a party that day, the teenage girl took her clothes off, was menaced with a stun gun by one of the suspects and engaged in sexual contact with another, police said.

They did not say where the party took place.

Police said Ezzell had sexual contact with the girl and was charged with committing a criminal sexual act, a felony, and endangering the welfare of an incompetent person(not a minor-a person), a misdemeanor.

Wenk, who police allege used the stun gun, was charged with misdemeanor possession of a weapon, menacing and endangering the welfare of an incompetent person.

Moore, Coons and Bocchino were charged with endangering the welfare of an incompetent person, police said.

You see the Times Journal Money Shot, really isn't that bad, but the headline is lacking 'Mentally Diasbled Teen' ramps up that Menace2Society cred, there and catches the eye. Pure Tittilation. But the Yellow Journaliste Champ, is the humble Kingston Freeman, which ups the ante by implying a gang rape in it's headline. Note that of the three, the Freeman gives you a handy guide to all the alleged perps in the case. The Journal apparently staffed by reporters with some sense of decorum, specifically tells you that it doesn't bother with obviously minor stoof.

Now yr prolly wondering, 'Gee, Comrade Duke the Otto of Yamamoto, or whatever yr "name" is this week, what's tha deal?'. Glad you asked. One of the perps(ahem) in the case is the child of a co-worker. Eric S. Coons. Now the good old Freeman which I've employed as cage lining for my late Rabbit, Olivia, plays this like you have 5 rilly bad people here, and you should shun them, or whatever. They all did a BAD thing. They neglect to mention that Eric is at large, because all he got was an appearance ticket. 'Show up in court on "x" date'. See, the plods rilly consider him dangerous.

The story as I heard it, from Eric's dad, was that he was at this party, and the alleged victim, took off her clothes, and began offering sex to whomever, and two of his mates took her up on it. Eric was drunk at the time, and the girl was 'butt ugly' so he wasn't having anything to do with it. He tried to call his dad to pick him up, but he got no signal on his mobile, and apparently there was no house 'phone. He couldn't drive-and in fact could not even get in his car, because he'd get a DUI(This is New York, remember, we put the 'A' in arsehole, as far as our laws are concerned.). So he was likely milling about, and was scooped up by the plods, charged with being in the wrong place at the right time. Or in between a rock and a hard place, your choice. Doesn't matter, the Freeman could give a damn about his story, anyway, or any damage they do to him and his family.

Now the Social Darwinistes peep and chirp, 'He shouldn't've been there, or shouldn't've been running with those boys' or whatevar. Well, perhaps not, but he was, and bollocks to you. Can't fix that now, can you? How much aggro should he cop to for a bad decision? And who are any of us to judge that, anyway? It's rilly easy to be cavalier about someone else's problems, just you mind the Karmic Surprise hiding around the corner for you, and don't come whinging to me about it, eh?

My friend Adam Prince found this on US 70 in Burlington, NC. Think of it as 'Americana'. Mind you, this is in the Bible Belt. Perhaps they should tighten that up a bit. Or Something. Whatever.

I should know better, but now and then I see or hear something that brings home forcefully the notion that there are depths of stupidity in America that have gone thus far unplumbed - and yet I'm still surprised.

Pastor Byrd says the sign is not meant to be racial or political but rather to make people think. "His name is so close to Osama I have a feeling he might be Islamic therefore he doesn't recognize Christ," Pastor Byrd said.

Oy vey. "I'm not a racist, I just say racist things." (link)